lonely in the desert

All people are scared …scared of something or the else and whoever tells u otherwise is lying ….. People are scared of darkness, of snakes; of dying ….something or the else …u get the picture ….. I am scared of being lonely …. So much that there is very few times that I have had a meal alone in my life till date…. Being alone turns me off and the last few days haven’t been a ball!! Yaa I am writing this down cos I have been alone for the last week and I don’t mean alone as in at home alone or something … stuck in this country all alone….I grew up in this country but none of the people whom I knew are still here !! I mean they have either moved out or r in India. And I hated growing up here. So much that I don’t have any memories except for a few and they are the worst of them so they are etched into my memory .But India now that’s a place I truly call home where everyone is not the best but u can at least talk and make people understand you.And the food….!!! I don’t like cribbing but when you come home and know there is no one waiting that is the worst feeling of your life. I actually love going to work cos I can talk to people. At home I haven’t heard my own voice in days the only sound is the music or the typing and with the internet fucked up … well my parents are in India and me here with no one else. All my clothes are washed and ironed, my room is meticulously clean, all the dishes done and I have finished The Fountainhead and The Godfather twice which is not bad. Well actually I am doing what my dad always wanted me to do though not approvingly .I am facing my fears!!!! What to say I am alone at home drinking Perrier and thinking what to do next . كسؤمك