Just Ranting !!

People change!! So do I!! I never realized till recently. I still thought I was the happy go lucky character who didn’t care for anything in the world (or at least I think I am). I love partying drinking, dancing (when sufficiently drunk) and having fun in general. And now I just feel that I have grown out of these ways in a certain fashion!!

Don’t be mistaken for a second that the fun part has stopped.

It’s just matured and refined with time. I tend to party but not as before with complete strangers and then waking up the next morning not knowing what happened last night !! Also partying doesn’t mean trying every possible drink available at the party getting wasted and then to get over the hangover drink some more which eventually led to another party (The huge vicious circle). And usually I ended up in someone else’s bed and absolutely ready to go next morning!! Now it’s usually waking up always in my own bed no matter what with a bad hangover and thinking I will never drink again.

Usually the day began with tons to eat and such like momo’s and sausages and beans and toast!! Now it’s basically corn flakes or Red bull and run run run!! Work was always fun and I had 2 jobs just to make sure I had a good time in the night!! Now it’s a single job but feels like 3 jobs and well the fun factor isn’t that great. It’s more like servitude and no rest and relaxation and constant worry about losing my job to someone. Holidays usually revolve around working more and trying to make money and better future but somehow I feel that missing out on the present is not worth it. But yes I am getting married next year and I feel I am being burdened with a lot of responsibilities. My only responsibility when I was younger was to get high and enough petrol in my bike. Now it is usually running around behind land deals and saving enough money for the wedding!!

Even though all of this happening I wonder is it really worth and I see all the party boys and grls now and think “Fuck I was better in partying than them !!” and they will think the same in a few years !! And then I feel that I think I am better off!! Sure I sacrificed a lot in the process but eventually I am doing ok and though not the happiest I am getting through!! And eventually hard work will pay one way or another!! So just praying for the best!!