Chasing the Banana Leaf !!

For the last few months I have been waiting for today cos today is Onam!! No I have no inclined towards the Kerala tribe in Abbasiya but the thing is that I just love festivals with the colors and the chaos associated!! The general spirit of people going around happy and smiling dressing up in nice clothes!! Yes I know!! My inner child has woken up again but I can’t help it!!! And with festival comes food!! But this I was once instance I was not happy about the food but on what I was going to eat it on!! See I was sick and tired of eating in plastic disposables plates!! I wanted that disposable plates of India!! The ones made of leaves!! Anyways after I heard that I would be served on a banana leaf my excitement knew no bounds!! I was super duper happy and my Malu knowledge bank Vinod told me in Onam somehow they get hold of Banana leaves and serve food on them. So a week ago when Vinod told me about today I made absolutely no plans and decided to go thr for my Banana Leaf festival Onam!! Well it’s not exactly banana leaf festival but for me it represented that!! I told my Mom, my fiancé and tons of others people about my excitement to eat on a banana leaf!! So after work I got ready in the evening called Shine of our artists for Mandala Project!! He was also super excited about this!! We both had planned to make it an amazing culinary Onam!! Sending it psy style!! Anyways when I went to pick up Shin it was already late and he was no where to be seen and then I decided to visit his hostel!! Unfortunately after waiting for half an hour I got pissed and left cos the Banana leaf beckoned or rather called me in a very very sweet voice!! I had a bad feeling that I would even devour the banana leaf!! :P But once I reached the fucking traffic in Malu country (ABASSIYA) I was shocked by the number of people on the street !! And all dressed for Onam!! So me, Vinod and Noel his friend headed to Neema Hut cos Vinod had specifically booked three meals and paid in advance!! And then bomb fell on us!!

The FAT Seth said that “SAARI SAAR!! NO MORE BANANA LEAFS LEFT!!! “
My make belief world of banana leaves came crashing down!! Even Vinod saw the sadness in my eyes and said don’t worry Joe we can do it next year!! He didn’t realize how much I had actually waited for this!! So we had parathas and chicken on plates!!! NORMAL PLATES!! :( And the owner of the places actually tried to cheer me up with Lassi !! Any other given day this would have actually cheered me up!! After dinner me and Vinod devoured single serving tubs of Mango Ice cream!! I think he is the only guy who I have seen eating like an animal and coming back for more!! He actually once dipped Kaju Barfi in Fish Curry and ate it!! Yuck!! Anyways after the disappointing dinner I headed back to home but somehow I had a sense of fulfillment!! I really don’t know how to name it but somehow the whole ordeal left me happy with an inner glow I really can’t explain!! Maybe it was the whole process of chasing after the Banana Leaf which made this experience memorable!! All in all a good night which ended with an amazing chat with Soni!!

Seven

7 things I did this weekend which can be labeled as weird and random or a regular weekend:

1)Went for the G.I.Joe movie!! Tremendously crazy movie which brought back good memories of Star Plus and those good old days when begging for a figurine was the whole purpose of existence of my childhood !!
2)Went for a huge huge huge cup of cocktail at 1 in the night . Kuwait is the only country where having a cocktail sis where they mix a huge concoction of different kind of juices and fruits and although amazingly tasty has no trace of alcohol in it.
3)Went to play pool at 3 in the night!! Billiards in a smoke filled room in which I am still thinking why we had gone to in the first place!! It was pathetic!!
4)Went to say good bye to Nigel when he leave for Canada and said how much I would miss him now that he was gone.
5)Listened to the Pink Panther theme by Beat Hackers(mix) and finally danced like crazy feeling happy without worrying about much . Was a happy feeling to be so free . And I had the hugest grin on my face while doing so !!
6)Played a decent set after a long hiatus always scared that my love for the 130 BPM ( Beats per Minute) would fade with time yet I somehow think that my heart beat is getting synchronized with every beautiful beat I hear!!
7)Decided to finally get on with my MBA noting the fact that am not getting younger and that it is like a huge load which has to be cleared.

P.S. – The track in the http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONCY0xnefAE video is an amazing acoustic rendition of the Days Go By by Dirty Vegas and I cant imagine that they ended up being just a one hit wonder!!!

One Week of Terror

Well the last weekend I decided to get an HIV test!! I don’t want to say the reason because I know it will be dishonoring someone else I know!! And that person didn’t give his life for vain or his mistake!! Coming around let me explain why this test became an ordeal for me. Kuwait is a country which has an AIDS test for every new person who enters the country. And if found with HIV + blood they are not allowed to enter . Now most of the clinics take around a day or two maximum for this test but in Kuwait no clinics are allowed to do this test. They have to send it out of the country. And if found positive you are immediately deported.

Anyways so my parents didn’t support my decision either and also they were worried that with the disgusting medical care facilities as they tend to botch up medical reports on a regular basis and many people in the process have been hurt in this manner in Kuwait. Anyways the last week was a real downer with so much tension. I finally decided to go ahead and give the bloody test knowing that if I didn’t do it I wouldn’t get the peace of mind to continue with life in general!! This last week showed me a lot of things!! Every night was plagued with wild and crazy nightmares but the one thing I learned from all of this was how close my fiancé was to me!! And how I had taken the right decision in my life to choose her as my life partner! She bluntly refused to take this lying down and prompted me by saying that go ahead and don’t worry whatever happens I will be there!! The result came after seven days I read this quote some time ago and loved it and it perfectly described how I felt when I took the test.

“Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.”: Jawahar Lal Nehru

So going against everything I took the plunge and came out smiling!! The test was negative and although it was a harrowing experience over that one week due to the support of Soni and few close friend like Lucky, Sayan and Rosy I was able to breeze through an ordeal. Keeping all of this in mind I now value all their support !! Also another person whom i should mention is Dr. Namrata Barik who is still studying but was extremely supporting through everything .

It’s been ages since I have written cos of the whole work load and such but in recent times I have had some issues and also it was killing me!! Well waiting for a set of results!! And hoping that they are good!! Anyways besides that there are a lot of things which have been going!! Last month was Sawaan and you know it’s as if God is testing me!! Last few months I didn’t have a decent party and suddenly everything is happening in this month with almost tons of parties thrown and me playing in all of them and not drinking at all! And also since the day I have started fasting I have had such amazing opportunities to eat like an animal in some good restaurants which the company pays that it’s actually feels like an opportunity lost!! But now I feel that somehow it will be all worthwhile!! Somehow I feel that there is a sunrise at the horizon after the dark days!! Somehow I feel everything will be fine!! I am not super duper religious and such but I do believe there is a supreme power and that we as human beings need someone to look upto!! As human beings we require the help of the almighty to help in every possible manner!! Being self sufficient is not always enough!! You need to have that certain belief in divine power!! Anyways I am just waiting for something good to happen eventually!! And hoping that everyone prays for me!! Cos I really need it !!

Boring !!

Last couple of weeks has been crazy for me as I have been working and compensating for two people at work. And since our bosses think we are just cheap Indian slaves it gets worse by the day. Although I learned a lot in the last few weeks it’s not something great!!

Coming back a lot of people have been bitching about me not staying in touch or not being interesting enough!! When I was interesting people had complaints that I was not committed and focused. Come on people!! One thing at a time!! I am now working hard and crazy cos very frankly I want something in life and people who truly know me how disgustingly obsessive I become when I have something to achieve may it be something as simple as having a college barbecue or getting that ever eluding cd or vinyl. I believe life for me at least is too short and I have huge ambitions and I will do anything and I mean absolutely anything to get what I deserve. I think working hard is just an excuse people hide behind. Working hard is just one half of it. Next comes smartness, luck and various other things!! Can’t explain it to everyone but its not just about Hard work always and I hate the fact that people whom I am doing this for come back and say that I am not interesting a.k.a Soni!! I mean come on I am doing everything expected from me . Working hard, leading an extremely normal working class life and getting a pretty decent salary!! If I am being looked as being Boring I am fine with it!! I will sacrifice anything and everything to obtain what I want in life!! And I already have!! I have lost some of my best friends whom I just stay in touch through email. I have missed out on my traveling and meeting new people!! Most of all I have sacrificed my music!! And not being interesting is another one to that list!! But I am ok with it!! Cos eventually I will get what I deserve!! I will do anything to reach where I want to be!!

Normality

By Paulo Coelho :

I decided to conduct a survey anmong my friends about what society considers to be normal behavior. What follows is a list I have made of some of the absurd situations we face in day-to-day life, just because society sees them as normal.

What society considers ‘normal’:

1] Anything that makes us forget our true identity and our dreams and makes us only work to produce and reproduce.

2] Making rules for a war (the Geneva Convention).

3] Spending years at university and then not being able to find a job.

4] Working from nine in the morning to five in the afternoon at something that does not give us the least pleasure, so that we can retire after 30 years.

5] Retiring only to discover that we have no more energy to enjoy life, and then dying of boredom after a few years.

6] Using Botox.

7] Trying to be financially successful instead of seeking happiness.

8] Ridiculing those who seek happiness instead of money by calling them “people with no ambition”.

9] Comparing objects like cars, houses and clothes, and defining life according to these comparisons instead of really trying to find out the true reason for being alive.

10] Not talking to strangers. Saying nasty things about our neighbors.

11] Thinking that parents are always right.

12] Getting married, having children and staying together even though the love has gone, claiming that it’s for the sake of the children (who do not seem to be listening to the constant arguments).

13] Criticizing everybody who tries to be different.

14] Waking up with a hysterical alarm-clock at the bedside.

15] Believing absolutely everything that is printed.

16] Wearing a piece of colored cloth wrapped around the neck for no apparent reason and known by the pompous name “necktie”.

17] Never asking direct questions, even though the other person understands what you want to know.

18] Keeping a smile on your face when you really want to cry. And feeling sorry for those who show their own feelings.

19] Thinking that art is worth a fortune, or else that it is worth absolutely nothing.

20] Always despising what was easily gained, because the “necessary sacrifice” – and therefore also the required qualities – are missing.

21] Following fashion, even though it all looks ridiculous and uncomfortable.

22] Being convinced that all the famous people have tons of money saved up.

23] Investing a lot in exterior beauty and paying little attention to interior beauty.

24] Using all possible means to show that even though you are a normal person, you are infinitely superior to other human beings.

25] In any kind of public transport, never looking straight into the eyes of the other passengers, as this may be taken for attempting to seduce them.

26] When you enter an elevator, looking straight at the door and pretending you are the only person inside, however crowded it may be.

27] Never laughing out loud in a restaurant, no matter how funny the story is.

28] In the Northern hemisphere, always wearing the clothes that matchthe season of the year: short sleeves in springtime (however cold it may be) and a woolen jacket in the fall (no matter how warm it is).

29] In the Southern hemisphere, decorating the Christmas tree with cotton wool, even though winter has nothing to do with the birth of Christ.

30] As you grow older, thinking you are the wisest man in the world,even though not always do you have enough life experience to know what is wrong.

31] Going to a charity event and thinking that in this way you have collaborated enough to put an end to all the social inequalities in the world.

32] Eating three times a day, even if you’re not hungry.

33] Believing that the others are always better at everything: they are better-looking, more resourceful, richer and more intelligent.Since it’s very risky to venture beyond your own limits, it’s better to do nothing.

34] Using the car as a way to feel powerful and in control of the world.

35] Using foul language in traffic.

36] Thinking that everything your child does wrong is the fault of the company he or she is keeping.

37] Marrying the first person who offers you a position in society.Love can wait.

38] Always saying “I tried”, even though you haven’t tried at all.

39] Putting off doing the most interesting things in life until you no longer have the strength to do them.

40] Avoiding depression with massive daily doses of television programs.

41] Believing that it is possible to be sure of everything you have won.

42] Thinking that women don’t like football and that men don’t like interior decoration.

43] Blaming the government for everything bad that happens.

44] Being convinced that being a good, decent and respectful person means that the others will find you weak, vulnerable and easy to manipulate.

45] Being convinced that aggressiveness and discourtesy in treating others are signs of a powerful personality.

46] Being afraid of fibroscopy (men) and childbirth (women).

47] And finally, thinking that your religion is the sole proprietor of the absolute truth, the most important, the best, and that the other human beings in this immense planet who believe in any other manifestation of God are condemned to the fires of hell

All right been some time now since I have written!! Basically with my boss out of town and me doing all his fucking pending work (That’s what I am gonna do when I leave for vacation as well !!!) and the pain of being in a long distance relationship is killing me !!Anyhow I had a good weekend last weekend with the party and really really good crowd to play music to and also the barbecue and the whole traveling around and shit was crazy as hell !!!:) Good but it took its toll on me in the next few days!! Well the Mandala Project is in full swing and tickets being printed as I write this! Ticket enquiries are coming by the truck load and pre sales tickets are up!! For detaisl u can check the website at www.mandalaproject.net . Amazing work done by Damu who is my Indian partner and handling the major part of the operation. Also another name worth mention is Siddharth Dasgupta who is an amazing kid just stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time. Coming back this weekend is my Saturday off and planning to head to some chill session party with a few frnds and such!! And maybe talk to the usual gang in India about the Mandala Project !!!:P Besides that nothing great only that got an amazing card from Soni and feeling super guilty !!! So have to work something out there !!

I am sick and tired of people not being happy of me being fat!! What the fuck is their problem!! I love eating!! Some people love photography and some people love other things but I love to eat good food!! And even I would love to be thin and eat more and more but in recent times everyone has been behind me about this!! As if it’s a crime!! Especially people who “supposedly” love me so much ….. I am kindaa pissed off so now getting irritated I have decided to do something about it!! Haven’t decided yet what to do cos diets don’t really help me a lot!! So let’s see what can be done!! All hope now on uparwala!! Also I finally got my holiday approval!!

Joys of getting Lost ! !

I am sick and tired of work and work and work !! So today I decided to travel and get lost!! And since I don’t have anything else to do and people being soo busy I decided to travel to somewhere at least get out of home! Now I didn’t wanna do the usual stuff again!! You know shisha and such so decided to just drive randomly into the desert!! Kept driving and driving!! Was bored as had spent the whole morning working on the Mandala Project and doing calculation and such was really getting to me!! Just needed a escape so went all crazy!! And since everyone was busy doing something I loaded some good Psy onto the USB and got some water and headed out!! After driving the usual roads and getting a bit out of the city I headed randomly and I started getting lost! That’s when I enjoyed the whole travel!! And since I had no certain destination just used to stop in the middle of the road and look around!! I saw some amazing things!! Huge bird house!! HUGE!! And camels!! And drove off into the middle of nowhere!! All the while listening to Pari’s music he had given on my previous trip to India!! Its just gave me time to clear my head made me think if Kuwait was bigger country I would have surely driven off into the wild on a regular basis and also now when back in India I know I can do the same !! Also the Force Motors Gurkha Black Beauty is already in my sights and really contemplating getting one of those for me!! J But summing up everything I loved the whole trip!! Made me clear my head and I came home feeling relaxed as I should be on a Friday afternoon!!

Happiness !! my trip to India albeit a very short one !!

Happiness is a state of mind or feeling such as contentment, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy. How easily it has been defined! But the last few days have been amazing!! When u know you are going to meet the one u madly love in a few hours!! When u get that first kiss after such a long time !! The first hug!! The sleeping on your shoulder!! The long drives !! The happiness in a smile , in sharing dinner !! It was all beautiful!! From the friendly smiles by Sanjay, Pari and Damu !! I felt this peace and happiness I never felt before!! The beach the sand in between your toes!! To spend restless night in the arms of the one you love!! WOW!! And meeting the to be in-laws was even more amazing!! After the uncomfortable silence they were amazing people who loved me for what I was!! For what their daughter had chosen!! Amazing that people can be soo caring and loving and I am proud that I am going to be part of that family!! And finally when I reached Mumbai it was an amazing experience to finally meet Deepali!! Amazing trip!! Thank you Damu and Pari!! Sanjay big Namaskar!! And Soni I love u more than anything else in this world!!You somehow have defined happiness in my life and the above definition will never justify it ! !

My Bank Card !!

Recently i have been posting pics more than writing cos basically not getting the time !!!:) But this is something which i had to put to explain how difficult my name is and why I stick to "Joey" or "JOJO" ...... I bet a lot of people don't even know till date that my name is Subhayou Nayak .... And my Bank people went one step ahead and ruined it even more. So go ahead have a laugh at my expense !! I always do whenever I withdraw money !!

My first try at buying something like this !!

I know I am not alone !!

Last night i finally took the time off to watch this movie and was really turned by the idea to do something like this ...... maybe someday !! helping people !! Especially loved the way the Israeli soldier at the Green Line said

" Do you think i want to be here ??? "

" Do you think i don't want to be at home for three weeks ??"

"I like my home.I want to be with my mother,my sister,my brother"

"They love me . I don't want to be here !!!"

"I do this for one reason. Because I love my country !!"

" I want my mother to go to work and not die. I want my sister to go to school and not be scared"

Amazing stuff

If you wanna buy the DVD here is the link

http://www.iknowimnotalone.com/

Pursuit of happiness ….so true!! The meaning of these words!!! The more you try to move towards to try to grab it the more it runs away from you!! Today I booked tickets so I can spend some time with Soni!!! And I told my boss that I need a few days leave and when I told him I am engaged he was happy and gave it to me!! Alas things didn’t work out and I couldn’t go and I can’t get anyone to blame for it!!! It’s my fault!! I came to this country so I could pursue happiness!! Happiness in the form of Money I guess!! But I haven’t been happy at all!! Rather my happiness was in India I had my share of bad days in India also but somehow it wasn’t as bad as this!! My dreams and aspirations were there and I could see a light to at least pursue them!! Here all is see is something which my parents want!! I can’t even blame them cos they want the best what they think is right!!Yet I can’t get the courage to tell them how unhappy I am and that I wake up thinking everyday wishing I was not alive…. Not a great thought but what the hell !!I can’t help it anymore!! Its just this feeling of being lonely sucks and also the fact that And sometimes I feel like breaking out and doing something but now I feel I am turning exactly what my parents want me to be ….. Someone who does a daily grind job with just money as the future!! No dreams and no aspirations!! And the sad thing is my pursuit has ended!! I just don’t feel like doing anything more anymore!! Doesn’t seem worthwhile anymore!! ……

Another 11th April !!

Happy Birthday to me !!

For me happiness is defined as the little moments of joys from the small things. And since I sit alone in my room writing this blog and drinking some disgusting alcohol which is worse than alcohol you must have tried I wonder am I really happy?? I have A good pay, work in the time of recession, a home, company paid car blah blah blah!! Why am I not fucking happy!! Why is that everyday I wake up and feel I would throw it all away for happiness!! Happy Fucking Bday to me !!